Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
I think an additional thing to consider would be how you choose women who turn out to be so unsuitable.
It is good to limit your losses, which is what you are addressing.
In my opinion it would be even better to have better instincts at first, to make better choices at first, so as to not even be attracted or involved at all with women who turn out to be so dramatically unsuitable.
This I think would be good to discuss with a therapist.
|
Bill makes some really important points here. Is there a pattern in your life? Do you find yourself dating similar women (I don't know if you mentioned that or not) and struggling with the same sort of relationship issues? Therapy can be really helpful in looking into why you date the people you date and how to reverse that trend if necessary.
As for cheating...there are many reasons why people cheat. There's a big difference between a stable person making a mistake once in their lifetime, owning it, and working through it versus someone who is a serial cheater in all of their relationships. If you find that you keep running into infidelity and trust issues in all of your relationships it would be really helpful to learn in therapy why you are attracted to those folks.
You also mentioned getting a key too soon. Always remember that you don't have to move in or accept a key just because it is offered. You have the right to set a healthy pace for any relationship you are in.
Currently your thoughts seem focused on her. Understandable since you are hurt. Though for your well-being, at some point you will want to focus on yourself. I don't think endeavoring to try to diagnose her or fathom her life story and choices will be the path to peace for you. You said you are sure the relationship is over so leave her to it. You can't know what is in another person's mind. Separate her actions from your intrinsic self-worth. They are not related, if you know what I mean.