So sorry you are struggling with this Sisabel.

I think you mentioned that you were already "partially estranged" from your daughter...whose choice was that? Mutual? Yours? Hers? What was the reason? I think that is significant while looking at the present state of your relationship.

Have you tried talking to your daughter about this? 1:1 without her hub present. From a calm and non-judgmental place...something like: "I feel uncomfortable with how things are going between us these days. How are you feeling about our relationship? Are there things we can work on together to improve? Do I need to hear some feedback from you? I love you and want you and my grandchild in my life. What sort of role do you want me to play in your life?" (I would not mention the issues with her hub at this point, that may trigger her to feel defensive or shut-down)

If you resent spending money on gifts etc I suggest not doing it for a while. It doesn't sound like money was ever the cause of the relationship problems anyway or did I miss a piece?

Ultimately, if your daughter does not wish to discuss it (I don't know if you already tried) then I feel you have two choices: try to find a middle ground you can tolerate in order to continue some interactions with daughter and g/child or take a step back for a while. From your posts it isn't clear to me if you actually want a better relationship with your daughter because you want to bond with her or if you mainly just want to know your g/child? You already know this but I think, though painful, it is worth pointing out the reality that parents have a right to limit or refuse contact with their baby to anyone they choose...that includes grandparents. Though I am very sorry if that is what you feel is happening.