Hello MashedPotatoe: Since this is your first post here on PC... welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this difficult situation. My personal perspective would be you are being manipulated by a person who is struggling with mental health issues they are choosing to deny. Unfortunately, I don't know as I have any particularly creative suggestions for how to deal with this type of situation. I'm afraid what this may come down to is you simply establishing some personal boundaries around this situation & continuing to see your friends as you wish to / need to for your own mental health sake.

You cannot allow yourself to be held hostage to your partner's refusal to deal with his mental health issues. I'm not a mental health professional. But I believe there is plenty of evidence to suggest that the partners of people who struggle with depression are themselves at increased risk of developing depression. You can't make your partner do what he needs to do in order to heal. So you have to protect yourself... sad as that may be.

Here are links to a selection of 11 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that hopefully will be helpful in gaining some additional perspective here:

Denial is a Powerful Impediment to Treatment

You Can Only Change Yourself

Why Family Members May Refuse Help For Depression | Family Mental Health

Stop Trying to Change People Who Don't Want to Change | Happily Imperfect

Is Depression Contagious?

https://psychcentral.com/blog/11-way...-denial/?all=1

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...essional-help/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-ar...do-i-get-some/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-he...ries-in-yours/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-self...th-depression/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.