Not too much to say lately. Stupid ED thoughts are grabbing hold of me, not helped by the fact that I may have lost another pound or two. Or maybe not. The antibiotic I am still finishing for strep gives me diarrhea. I have one more pill to take tomorrow morning, then I'm done.

Really have strong urges to stop taking the Seroquel & Lamictal, stupid thoughts really, I'd just wind up manic, but I think what if I can eat less & lose more weight? I am even taking those stupid type pro-ED pictures that show ribs, bones & such. Loving the bones, but going there is such a slippery slope.

I am having a hard time as H's new insurance will not kick in until he's been there 60 days. In the meantime, we will be paying out of the nose for COBRA, but the school district H worked for doesn't reopen until tomorrow, so he has not been able to talk to benefits there. In the meantime, I had to cancel my appt. with the pdoc & T, with the GI doc, as well as an appt. for my daughter to get a cavity filled. OMG, I hate insurance.

I don't know why I'm having such intrusive thoughts that the medication is bad for me, I should just junk it, maybe keep the Adderall. Dumb ED. I can't even update my avatar pic on places like FB because I'm just starting to look gaunt in the face. Maybe it will be better off the antibiotic. I hope so.

It's going to be tough for me, I think, until I pass the anniversary of that perforated ulcer, which was Valentine's Day, not likely to forget the worst Valentine's Day of my life.