Well, i'm back and feeling as sh!))y as ever. The Wellbutrin wore off. I felt pretty good for a nice long while there, about three months. I felt better from the first dose. I had wicked insomnia in the beginning. Wellbutrin dragged me kicking and screaming into the daylight. But i settled into a healthy regular night's sleep eventually, getting up at 6:00am.


I had a really good time and competed in three Scrabble tournaments -- something i've been wanting to do for 15 years. One was even in Toronto, so i had a weekend away. I hadn't left the city limits in over a decade. I had a super good time at the tournament and met a really nice guy but he was married so that went no where but it was still good to meet someone interesting. My hotel was scrumptious, just a marvel of luxuries.

I fixed up my place and got a lot done, in general. I attended three meetups -- something i had been too anxious to do before Wellbutrin. I learned how to watch TV online and cut my cable, sold my PVR and am getting service from a bargain Internet Service Provider and saving piles. My Scrabble mate just f*(k!ng gave me a cell phone, so now i have an emergency phone too. I really put a lot of energy out and enjoyed myself.

But it's all turning to sh!) now. I've had some really unbearable episodes of rage recently and it's getting to be a daily thing. I feel cranky, irritable, lonely, frustrated and angry. I've managed to keep my temper but i am exploding with rage in my journal.

I think i'm in the Special Hell of switching from high mood to low mood. I turned my alarm off for tomorrow morning and i am going to start sleeping-in again and if it ruins my life, who cares? I don't.

I don't feel i can go in for a med tweak because i'm not severely depressed yet, just mildly depressed but mostly irritable and angry. I know once i'm thru the switch i'll be okay. I guess it was just a hypomanic episode. I thought i'd finally found the cocktail that worked but nope.