mind you I havent read the whole thread but I have a thought about this...

many people who are training a special needs dog/ service animal do request that all other family members are hands off. this is so that the service animal bonds in a very special way with the person with a handicap first and foremost...

example I and my wife and children have our own service animals that we each trained. granted the children needed some help with this but the help we provided was very minimal so that the dog that our daughter picked out was hers and the dog understood that she was the dogs owner and care taker and he had a job to do with her.

service animals are trained and treated differently than a whole family pet. that service animal has a job to do and one specific owner and must mind and perform on commands from the owner not just every family member.

example what happens if my daughter is across the room and she is going into a seizure but its not notice able yet and her dog is being petted and loved on by me, my wife or the other children? the reality is that her dog would be distracted and not doing his job of notifying my daughter that she is about to enter into a seizure and my daughter would get hurt.

my point is if this guy has a mental or physical health problem and is trying to make sure this dog understands who his direct owner is and thats who he is there to be with, then others petting and loving on him is going to sabotage the training and instilling rules and boundaries with this dog...

its not abusive to expect the person that went out and bought a dog doesnt want others to be handling and playing and caring for the animal,

my suggestion is since this obviously isnt going to be a full family pet then its time to move on to getting your own dog. then you can set the rules and such for your dog just like he is setting the rules and boundaries for his dog.

there are many families that I know that have pets and service dogs and each person in the household is responsible for their own respective pets/ service animals.

bottom line this is his dog so he gets to make the rules and such about his dog, just like when you decide to get a pet or service animal you get to decide whats what with it.