Thanks for your opinions and I understand your objections in them involving me in their problems but I would much prefer they tell me what's going on than for it to be sprung upon me. Also as the main issue is that they cannot communicate with one another I don't think leaving them to sort it out among themselves will be at all beneficial to either of them or to anyone in my family. So I would therefore prefer to try and encourage them to bridge the communication gap somehow. If they decide they don't want to be together that's their choice but this in between limbo and repressed emotion is helping no one and affecting both their happiness.