Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0
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The original question posed in this thread, how does it feel to not get what you want, is an easy question to answer. For me, it can feel awful but is survivable. I don't think the answer is the end of something, but the beginning. In my own therapy it's been hard for me to admit that I wanted certain things (that didn't have to do with the therapist). Because to have that open desire out there for me to see-- well, if I were a guy I'd say something about something swinging in the wind-- that feels vulnerable. I'm trying to tame my instinct to beat up the thing I want or demean it or pretend it doesn't really matter if I get it and I want to see the desire as the beautiful human thing that it is, but I'm not quite there yet.
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For me, apparently, wanting something (love, acceptance ?) and not getting it felt not survivable in my childhood and so was shut down, until triggered by the rejection by my last therapist.
But I have survived -- with pain and difficulty. Though in recent years the survival had been painful in other ways, as well as pretty meaningless.
The longing and the disappointment and reactions to that, certainly, are NOT very tame. But so far as I know there's not an easy path, not a "trick" to taming them. . .Becoming aware, if you can tolerate that, may be a first step?