Bipolar is a tricky disorder. (I am BPII btw) One of the most annoying things about bipolar is that your bipolar tries to trick you into thinking you are actually normal. It tries to tell you that you arent manic, you are just happy and other people are just uptight. It tries to make you non-compliant with meds, telling you you dont need medication anymore. Then comes the depression/mania and then you remember why its an actual disorder-but this is after you have made a fool of yourself and said the wrong things. I SOOOO relate to you. I am 43 and been in "bipolar remission" for like 2 years. I had one hell of a flare up where I actually suffer with a mental fugue- and this happened at Christmas. I always take my meds, and ever since I agreed to take the proper amount of one I have had no problems. But I have been under an enormous amount of stress with the recent issue being my 22 year old son had a stroke. And if I look deep enough Christmas is probably a trigger for me and I didnt even realize it. It is so important to ask for help when you need it and accept help if you are offered it. My husband fills my pill cases. It helps him to feel like he has a part in my treatment and he always knows what I have taken or need to take. Sure I can do this myself but I am so clumsy I always drops pills and forget them. This helps me. Therapy helped me a lot. I went to therapy for like 16 years. If you are doing your best to treat bipolar with meds and therapy then keep holding on. Maybe a med change is in order and maybe its just going to happen whether you treat it or not.