Hi elliecake,
Welcome to PC and to the Bipolar Forum!

You are just fine posting your question here! No worries.
I think we all go through some form of denial re: our diagnosis. I know I have done so. Despite many years of needing help from a pdoc, I'd recently hoped a new pdoc would tell me my diagnosis was somehow wrong!
You've gotten some great responses above. I haven't much to add without becoming redundant. lol.
I hope you find the information and the support you may be seeking.
Please do make yourself at home here.
I hope to see you around the forums!

WC