I am really struggling, trying to not let depression overwhelm me.
I woke up in hell today, again, only worse. I'd just wanted to stay in bed, or worse.

Luckily, there are others in the house and we all have a morning routine in which I play a big part. I had forced myself out of bed. Forced myself to do my morning routine. Forced myself to take down the holiday tree. Forced my way through a large part of the day. I had intense feelings of dread and hopelessness every single moment. Somehow operating while in a deep dark pit of depression.

Right now, I feel better about having done some things despite my feelings. I honestly don't know how I did it all. I know I was gritting my teeth and was wondering if I'd make it through the various tasks. I was pushing myself to/past my comfort zone, trying to do "the opposite" of how I was feeling.

I've had a rest now and am feeling overwhelmed again. Yet, nothing is as severe as my early morning thoughts/feelings of severe depression. It slaps me in the face as soon as I open my eyes.

It's almost time to prepare dinner, yet another thing I do as a part of daily household routine, even when I despise doing so. The distraction the "daily routines" provide is very helpful, even when I want to cave and not complete them.

I hope others are having a much better day.

Love to All!

WC