I think that unless the op has some sort of actual confirmation of an autism diagnosis its a bit premature and slightly irresponsible to say that his behavior is because of autism. I know these behaviors can occur with or without autism but when we connect harmful behaviors automatically to mental illness it continues the stigmatism about mental illness. He very well could be controlling, narcissistic, autistic or a big fat jerk but linking the autism to this behavior seems to me to be unfair.