I understand your motives and I don't think you're a bad person for it at all. It makes perfect sense after being ignored as a child. I think discussing this in therapy would be great.
I don't know if this will make you feel better but I gave exaggerated some details, too. Because I was afraid that the reality was no big deal and if I don't exeggerate a little my T or other people wouldn't think I have a right to complain.