I can understand how some would find what the OP is describing as "abuse" or toxic. Yes, I noticed the OP talking about having blow out interactions regarding this situation. I think that there is a communication problem when it comes to this. However, I am not going to tell this OP to leave or divorce her husband over this challenge either, especially since she said her relationship was so good BEFORE this dog entered the picture. I understand how other posters feel and have said "if it was me I would divorce him". It's really ok to express how you personally feel about this problem. However, the OP has been happy with her husband, so the question is what can she do to overcome this challenge? Well, one thing she can do is let him have that dog and get her own dog. I can understand how someone would want their own dog, it's something I had wanted and I finally did get my own dog and had a special bond with it, something I always wanted to experience and it was wonderful to have my own little dog that loved me. Up until that our dogs were pretty much all about my husband.

I am trying to be careful and have presented the OP with perhaps a different way of looking at this problem. The tables could be turned where the OP wanted a dog but wanted to train it a certain way too and not want her husband to do certain things with the dog. I have seen that before and it's not necessarily terrible. I have had heated arguments with my husband about our dogs. I did not want him taking them out without leashes, I did not want him hand feeding them table food either. He would not LISTEN and I ended up with dogs that begged and barked at us whenever we ate. I wanted my dogs to "wait" for their leashes when I took them outside, again, my husband did not want to listen and decided he would let them learn how to go out that door on their own. That encouraged them to think that was ok and they got out and I was lucky to come home before they wandered off. Where I live it's dangerous for small dogs to wander around as we have coyotes that WILL and HAVE taken small dogs and killed them.

I do think it's ok for her husband to want his own dog. And he HAS told her she can also do the same. Some people really do prefer to have their OWN dogs. Her husband is spending time with his dog, training it to be loyal to him and stay by him and he takes it out camping with him "alone" too. It's not like he got a dog and is neglecting it and then telling his wife not to feed or care for it. Lots of men do have their own dogs and train them for hunting too. The OP can get her own dog and train it to be HER dog the way she wants. The OP's title alone suggests the dog is "their" dog too. Yet, her husband has told her that it's his dog and that she can have her own dog. So he did tell her right from the start that he got the dog for himself. And he never told her she could not get her own dog for herself too. Then they can go out for walks where he has his dog and she has her dog too. And in all honesty, I have actually done that with my husband where we each had our own dogs and took them for walks, it was actually nice.