It's nice to see you back, Wander! Sorry you had to go through all of that, but I am glad you are leveling out a bit now.

I only have partial memory of my ECT treatments, too. The first few. Then it's a blur. I think it was just as well. I was severely depressed at the time, but I recall having ECT recommended a time before when I was manic with mixed features. I didn't accept it then, to put it mildly. Instead, I spent time in the hospital isolation room and being followed around the ward by a security guard. Anyway, yea it's odd to read the hospital notes, though one hospital I went to only provided very cryptic notes. The other more detailed. In the past, I would ask my husband what I was like during manic/psychotic blackouts. He always refused to say. I guessed it really scared him.