I see that this could be on account of the way we were raised. Being raised not to have a voice or opinion has a factor now in adulthood. I suppose I make up for that in spades now. But yet when it comes to myself I get wishy washy - especially when it means advocating for myself when things aren't going the right way or are outright wrong. The message I got was that I wasn't worth it to speak up about, that you shouldn't be heard to complain, and that doing so was not ladylike. Remain silent until spoken to sort of thing. This has translated to getting walked over - something I experienced in two long-term abusive relationships.

I find it easy to do these things as an anonymous second self - to air my opinions and grievances in a way I could not do in real life. Yeah, I am aware this gets me into trouble. I crave having such balls to do so for real.