court_knee... i am so sorry that you had those experiences... that would be really hard... and i can see why it would be hard to trust again... and how scared you must be right now... do you have anyone irl that you can trust?... what happened with your youth pastor? could you talk to her?... cutting is a really hard thing to understand...if you haven't been there... i really wish you had a safe person... i know you have answered this before... but do you have a t? maybe contact the women's crisis center... i don't know what the laws are regarding confidentiality for minors... but you could ask them before you say anything... please take gentle care of yourself...i am listening...lyn