Even if he is on the spectrum....you need to think whether YOU want to tolerate the behaviors you are experiencing for the rest of your life because usually the behaviors of someone on the spectrum don't/can't change because of how their brain is wired & from personal experience.....it doesn't get better but worse with age especially if they refuse to get a diagnosis & get any help to learn to better relate to others. Going to marriage therapy in my case was a waste of time & money. Though it was worth a try to know it didn't work.

Obviously if you are ok being treated this way then it is your choice. We can lose ourselves in other interests.....but the bottom line will always come back to how do you feel being treated the way you are in your relationship?