Lost89, I am sorry your partner is so abusive. It sounds like you are moving toward health and healing by planning to leave the relationship. I have been in a 20 year marriage with an abusive spouse, and have recently separated. It took me a long time to get there, including working with 2 counselors. My second counselor really helped a lot, as he is somewhat of a divorce specialist and really knew how to support me and help me move forward. One thing my first counselor had me do in preparation for the divorce was to spend time and energy on building up my sources of support--friends and family. It really helps to have people to lean on during this challenging time, if only a teeny bit.

I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there. You can do it! Now that I am separated and know what it is like to live without him, there is no doubt in my mind that this was the right thing to do. It is so much better being on my own! I hope you will check in here and let us know how you are doing.