Not wanting to hurt my family was a big reason. After that though, I thought I deserved to not have to live a miserable life. So my best strategy was to think to myself, "What is it that is hurting me, that I am holding on to or what is it that would be good for me that I'm not willing to do?" I was not willing to do certain things or give up certain attitudes because I wanted to be able to call the shots. When I was willing to do what was right even though it wasn't what I wanted to do, that gave my life more stability. I couldn't convince myself that suicide was the right thing to do. Instead, thinking of suicide convinced me I was on the wrong path and needed to make changes. I could not believe I was born to one day commit suicide. I had to do something with my life. Not just do something with my life but get rid of the pain of depression as well.