I agree with Seesaw about telling her you were directed to do these projects, etc. High five Seesaw.

Also, this sounds like a power play/ power game. The rules of power games are that you can be as mean as you think you can get away with, or you can use humour, or you can do what Seesaw says and coolly invoke the rules!

We don't like power games when have stuff going on internally, but they are like drunk drivers... part of the big wide world. "It's just work, just stuff..." I think it's important to separate personal emotional intimate stuff from work, sigh, consciously put on a protective metaphorical raincoat which you keep in the locker. Breathe deep but put vulnerability some place safe and know it's ok.

Hugs!