How your therapist feels -- how they respond internally -- is their response. It is not your responsibility.

I've had the same kind of confusion most of my life, feeling guilty if someone has an unpleasant response to something I've said or done -- like I'm responsible for the feelings of the whole world! It's very confusing to sort out what is legitimate to feel guilty about, what I want to and am able to do about it, if anything, etc.

It looks like this T can't help you much with that. Maybe 3 years of pretending has been enough for your impulse/instinct for self-care to take over and make itself heard? That seems positive, to me.