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mckell13 said:
Flowerb, ..... I also eventually came to the same conclusion, wanting to be special suggests that I want more from the relationship than I should or deserve.

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Just to clarify - Even though I think I don't deserve to be special, or shouldn't want to be special, I truly wanted/want to be special to my T - and yet that scares the begebies out of me. And even though he tells me I am special to him and he cares about me, I find it hard to believe I guess, and I don't know how to take it in. I think admitting this is important gives him power (more power?) to hurt me by withdrawing his caring. Being special feels good and yet scary - what is the payment for being special?

We've talked, and continue to talk, about this a lot.

(btw - Other clients - what other clients?)