I have a background of anxiety and isolating myself socially. In my life, I have gone through several periods where I feel rejected by 'stronger' people, and I have isolated myself, feeling I had no friends to talk to.
Since last year, I haven been living in a small community of young people "where everyone knows your name". I was the centre of a small group of friends who threw parties for the whole group. It was amazing: I finally felt accepted as myself and no need to be afraid of other people judging me. It was amazing, but at times felt too good to be true. Then about three months ago, one member of this small group began to be very cold to me. This included avoiding me in situations where we used to have lots of fun, and no longer inviting me to parties frequented by the whole group. Now he barely speaks to me. I am very hurt - we shared a lot and I cannot believe he would turn on me in this way. In light of this, I have recently lost all motivation to go out to group events. I am so afraid of being treated coldly by this person and that he will convince everyone not to like me. I just wanted to disappear.
Tonight, there was an event that the whole group was attending. I didn't have a close friend to go with, and was thinking I would just stay home because I was terrified to face this person. I managed to work up the courage to go out and show my face and stand my ground. It was a little weird because I felt exposed, but it felt so good to go out and do what I wanted to do. I feel so proud, and I hope I can face my fears like this more!