Hi Kiya,

You make this really introspective and that is good!

I need to clarify now. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I told him that I wished he could hold me and...he understood that and he said, "Why wouldn't you want to feel special to me?" At that point I melted like a warm snowman. I told him I was afraid that he would think that I wanted to have sex with him. And he said, "Why wouldn't you want to have sex with me? Is there something wrong with me?

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The sequence of the conversation [with explanation to clarify]:

I told him I wished he could hold me.

He equated my desire to be held with a desire to feel special to him.

I explained that I had not told him before because I was afraid he would think that I was saying I wanted to have sex [if I said I wanted to be held].

He said that even if it did mean that, so what?

So, it was in the desire for the *physical act of holding* that I was concerned it would come across as being sexual, rather than the desire to be special, which can have a whole slew of interpretations.

However, having said that, I don't necessarily think that a desire to have sex is a bad thing either. I definitely do, equate sex with intimacy. And I desire a really intimate relationship with T.

Peace