I’m trying to remain calm about work tomorrow. I feel like I can’t do it but I did it on Wednesday when I was feeling bad so I know it’s possible. I can’t skip out again. I’m half hoping my girl isn’t there again because I really feel judged by the other classroom assistant even though I think that may be all in my head. I’m not sure. I feel like she’s talking bad about me behind my back. But again, I might just be traumatized by my last job where that teacher definitely was judging me and talking behind my back.

RS came over again tonight and just having the distraction helped me feel better. We went to dinner and then came back and just hung out with my son for awhile. I sent him home though. We’ve only been dating two months, I don’t want to be too dependent on him. I want to give him his space. I’m afraid if we are too intense in the beginning we will flame out. I want our relationship to grow. I want to be with him for a long time. I don’t want him to lose interest six months down the line like my ex did. We made plans to spend the night together tomorrow though. We are going to take my son to the aquarium and arcade on Saturday. I hope I feel up to it because I already told him we are going. But I should be ok as long as RS goes with me.

I guess I should try to sleep. I’m exhausted so it shouldn’t be too hard.