It is interesting that PC being a mental health forum seems to always JUMP to the conclusion that behaviors that SEEM abusive are ALWAYS intentional & not actually caused my an undiagnosed & untreated mental condition.

No we should NOT just accept them as ok.....but should try to get to the REAL underlying CAUSE of the behavior problem. If that in fact shows up nothing or the person is unwilling to deal with the problems caused by their behaviors THEN determine the action to take at that point in time.

After I left my H but wrote to him about his possibly being on the autistic spectrum he was in denial. When I was in Calif for my law suit against him last summer he actually admitted that with some thinking he realized my analysis of his ASD behaviors ALL his life & the 33 years I lived with him were accurate. He will never get a formal diagnosis because in reality at this point in his life it probably won't make any difference. Some people don't want to know & don't care if they have gotten away with their behaviors all these years.....they EXPECT everyone to adapt to their mental condition because in reality it is the way their brain is wired. It takes a lot more work to make changes in a wired brain that it does one that has just been programmed through life because you have both wired & programmed neuropathways to deal with & figure out.

Then when it comes to the final line anyway one has to sort through what they are willing to tolerate or not & weigh out ALL the pros & cons before just leaving.