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For the past week or so, I have been compelled to listen to a song again and again. I have just kept coming back to it, which I know is something I do when I知 unhealthy. Today, as I知 listening, I feel like I知 turning into the music and I ever so drastically want to meet the artist so I can somehow become a part of his soul. But, he lives in London and I live in the US. I feel bad, like how could I think this when I know how badly my husband and kids need me here? How can I consider such a thing when I know we don稚 have the money? How could I handle it if he isn稚 interested in my soul? I知 not in love with him; I知 in love with my husband but every fiber of my being craves and longs for this. I feel like I need to touch his voice as it resonates throughout my body. Please tell me how to handle this situation.
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Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
Tori Amos ~ Crucify
Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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