You know, I try to block that stuff out of my mind the best that I can. And the stuff I do when manic, I'm able to tell myself that it was sickness and blow it off...for the most part. I have a talent for doing that. But I guess some recent thing is related to anxiety. I tend to sweat a lot when I'm very anxious. I also turn red. People do notice and it's a bit awkward to explain, and that exacerbates it. Sometimes the sweat shows through my clothes and runs down my face. My last case of this was at a restaurant with my husband's boss, friend, and their SOs. I whispered to my hubby to get my coat (it was in the cloak room) so I could cover myself better.

As for something one might be extremely embarrassed about from a mania, I was manic with psychosis towards the end of our trip to Portugal last May. I made a spectacle out of myself, especially in the airports home. [I won't go into all of it.] I mentioned elsewhere that airports are very stressful for me. At one point I refused to stand in a very long line in customs (but hubby did). I stood near the front loudly ranting about the idiosy of the Homeland security operation and airport engineers, and at one point yelled that when people got to the front of the line they'd have to give a stool sample. Dozens of people were staring at me. At the time, I thought I was completely justified in my rants. Now I just feel sad at how ill I was and am grateful that I wasn't arrested. Just prior to that, in London, my husband didn't think they would let me on the plane. Luckily I got on. My poor husband started bawling on that flight because he was so sad I was sick during our 20th anniversary vacation. It was very stressful for him to have to deal with my illness then and he was scared of my psychotic behavior. I'm not so much embarrassed as I am sad that I became ill and hurt him. I know it wasn't really my fault, though. I had taken my medications. The vacation and airports were too much!

What stresses you out more than anything else?