I’m all alone right now. I mean, I have my kids and my husband but I have so many ****ing words to say that would only upset them and would be over their head anyway. I worry that my mouth could catch on fire if I speak some of my thoughts. The Bible warms us to always be prepared for his coming. But my thoughts are not prepared. They are from another planet. I need someone to come and twist all of this energy out of me. I need someone to suck out the perversion and abandonment. I need to walk a straight line...one without faults ring. You know, Nes Years Eve, I drank 5 glasses of wine, a glass of champagne and a jack and coke. It had no effect on me. None. And I haven’t drank so much as a sip of wine in probably 2 years before then. I should have been on the floor. Adrenaline? I don’t think I am going to die.