Perhaps it's also worth reaching out for peer support resources. In a group of students many people will be examining relationships. For example, other men's groups/ women's groups/ other lbqt, meetups for depression, co-counselling was stuff that was active when I was studying. Peers can help stabilize when relating is difficult, make the exploration fun, plus you can get tips about who is worthwhile in professional helpers in your territory.

Not either/ or - but /and: for certain, others around you will be evaluating their relationship behaviours and that can be turned into a strength if you're up for it . In my college a lot of support for men and women went on around co-counselling, which in itself wasn't a great technique but peer groups turned it into something joyful and dynamic.

Cost of counselling is a big problem here + your partner going into individual counselling for depression could make relating temporarily even more difficult.

You sound hopeful, and that's like gold dust, so yeah.... you are going to learn something good from all this . A big extra-curricular learning curve which will build skills for later - or that's what I tell myself when I find circumstances to be challenging..

Plus - look at the emotional maintenance stuff that you do as a couple which might help regulate/ allow space around the more passionate emotions. Methinks there are free online suggestions about that on Relate and other websites.

Wish you well!!!