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Originally Posted by eskielover
It is interesting that PC being a mental health forum seems to always JUMP to the conclusion that behaviors that SEEM abusive are ALWAYS intentional & not actually caused my an undiagnosed & untreated mental condition.
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if the behavior seems abusive I think the members here have been on the receiving end of abuse and are trying to help the OP overcome being a victim or staying a victim. I do not think the people here are meaning to ignore the mental health/possibly autism issue. But we do not know more than what is shared by the OP so we cant diagnose. We are not doctors. But the people here seem to know an awful lot about abuse and are able to recognize it. I think the point people are trying to make are about helping to OP protect herself. And if she need protection from an abuser it doesnt change the fact that she needs protection even if he has a mental health issue or autism. I often get annoyed that people assume that it must be a mental health issue or autism rather than take the behavior at face value. My sister is autistic and never once has she been abusive. And she was diagnosed when autism was not even a thing yet by one of the first doctor's to notice autism. How we treat someone can be overcome-even if it is a mental health disorder or autism. No one should get to treat someone poorly or be abusive simply because they have a mental health disorder or autism.
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No we should NOT just accept them as ok.....but should try to get to the REAL underlying CAUSE of the behavior problem. If that in fact shows up nothing or the person is unwilling to deal with the problems caused by their behaviors THEN determine the action to take at that point in time.
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I personally think this has been established already.