Not even sure how many my pdoc meant when she told me to use them for my mania but I’ve popped several already today. They seem, to me at least, to be keeping my mind from uncontrollable frequencies. I have been outside playing in the snow most of the morning with my kids. Now, after more Klonapin, I am listening to my song on repeat again. Now I feel very afraid not to have it on. I slept a bit more last night because I laid back down around 4 or so but my sleep even then was very broken. I have no clue how much sleep I did get. My mania has been getting so much worse as the day progresses so I am hoping we won’t see that again. When I even think about going to work on Monday I feel petrified with fear. But for now at least I am going to try to use up some of this energy to finish cleaning my house.
__________________
*****
Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
Tori Amos ~ Crucify
Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
|