I do ruminate sometimes, but that is a healthy side to my OCD. If I did not pursue the thoughts that cause my anxiety, I would never be able to let them go. At least, I think it is healthy. I know I need solace right now, but I am not looking for complete isolation. It doesn't matter. I have overcome worse and more trying times. I wish I could be more productive with both (more the employment/mental heath progress than the relaxation).