Thank you guys! I did keep track of them. I took 3 1/2 today. I was researching Rod Stewart and wondering if he would like to meet me if I went to London. After all of you telling me to go ahead and call my pdoc again, my husband insisted so I did. She put me back on Navane (I haven’t taken it in over a year) and told me to stay home from work for a few days and follow up on Monday. She told me I can take up to 6 klonapin a day until I come down.

My husband wanted me to go out to eat with some of our friends to celebrate one of their birthdays and at first I said no but he encouraged me to get out of my own world and go. So, I took some klonapin and went. At first, it was horrendous. I was suffocated by the noises and felt like I was in another reality. I was giggling nervously and talking (or rambling) quickly when I wasn’t staring the room down trying to find something that seemed real. I know I acted like a lunatic. Very thankfully, my girlfriend also has bipolar disorder and my husband had told them ahead of time that I’m not well. She tried very hard to gain my focus, even offering me her emotional support animal and between her and the klonapin, it actually turned out great.

I have now taken all of the meds. I took the extra 200 MG of Seroquel, the Navane and some more Klonapin. I’m not tired yet though. I am trying not to listen to Rod Stewart anything but I feel like I physically need to. Right now I’m listening to a whiter shade of pale instead. My mind is racing still but I feel like they are not as fleeting and I don’t feel frantic for the time being. I hope that is a good sign and not just a lucky day because I really don’t wish to completely lose touch with reality. I feel like my kids are at a stage now that it would really traumatize them, especially if I am hospitalized. My daughter already asked me earlier today when I was cleaning why I told her she couldn’t turn the song off. She said she couldn’t stand to hear it one more time and I just told her I needed it right now. She couldn’t understand and was very irritated. She was also irritated when I seemed aloof about my son hitting her in the eye with the doll. I was definitely NOT aloof, it was just more than I could handle. She keeps asking me if I am okay. Why are you looking like that? You don’t look like yourself. She is perceptive and I am fooling no one even if I try.