I adore cats as well!!

What I hope for you is that you can love and enjoy them without feeling guilty or humiliated for doing so. They are helping enormously with your PTSD and anxiety --that's huge!!

One thing that has helped me so much is having found a cat sitter I trust and who loves my cat as well (I think most cat sitters would naturally at least really like cats). When I'm away, she sends me photos of my cat, and updates, which really helps. I hope you can find your way to getting one, so you can travel.

As far as your daily life, WC gives excellent advice (all around). I would also seek the advice of your T -I can't think of anything wise to suggest on this front.

Again, enjoy your furbabies, don't worry about them (they will be fine with a sitter if you go away) and enjoy their company fully and entirely without guilt. You are lucky to have such wonderful kitties to accompany you in your daily life. Enjoy their love and care.