bah.
im so fricking sick and tired of my ups and downs. about an hour or two ago i was as high as a kite. no not stoned. happy. energetic. exciteable. i mean i musta pissed ppl off. but i was happy dammit! now im tired. so flipping tired, and at a loss. it wears me out. i can think someone loves me one minute and think they hate me the next. i can apprieciate myself one second, destroy myself the next. its stupid. it cant be normal. to change moods so rapidly is strange. my emotions change in a second. i have now sunk back to self hatred and demoralisation. this is whats so depressing. even though i ave high points, i know i will go back down like a ton of bricks. every time.
it would just be easier to give up. trust me now i wanna right now. it was never this bad when i cut i swear. please. God if your there. replace me with someone else. i dont mind id be obliged to remove myself for someone else. im tired anyway.

dot