Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia
I know this may not be what you want to obsess about now but... could not help myself to have a thought reading this in the OP: "In the final sessions, he admitted to having feelings (although wasn’t specific on that) and a connection with me that he didn’t have
with the others. He said repeatedly with happiness and hope (some times) that I can reach out in 2 yrs."
I remember there was some discussion on why the T was strict about the 2 years while there is no ethics rule that ex-T and ex-client cannot have a non-romantic friendship sooner. Plus, you constantly told us about how personal the relationship got, that you played some mysterious game that is way beyond normal boundaries/disclosures etc. So what if the T actually had some serious romantic feelings for you and that is the kind of relationship he would want to explore later? Why the 2 years? That in fact it's not that he does not care but he cares in really "inappropriate" ways? Dunno, it was just my first thought reading this post.
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I second this interpretation. I think he ended therapy with you partly because he wanted the romantic relationship possibility to come as soon as possible... The sooner you start the clock, the sooner it will run out. And his statement about things not being "always or never" reinforced that belief for me. It's not that your relationship is always (because you have to wait two years) or never (because he knows that in two years you'll contact him and you can start a romantic relationship).
I would caution you against waiting two years and believing that he's doing the same for you. A lot can happen in two years. He might meet somebody else, you might meet somebody else, just be open to the possibilities and don't shut yourself away waiting for him. Because he might not be there for you at the end of two years.