Hmm. I understand this dilemma. Our response is to run away. Not literally, I just mean not be around those people who repeatedly idolize the abusers. Ours are very prominent community members, our father has won citizenry awards for his many contributions to the city.

One thing that springs to mind that we use apparently is to validate those younger ones ourselves, and to reassure them that people just don't know what went on behind closed doors. What other people think about the abusers isn't a reflection of the validity of our experience but a reflection of the level of deception and manipulation the abusers used in order to keep the abuse hidden. They did a really good job. But we know the truth and the abusers know the truth too. Those other people who speak well of the parents... its not their fault, they just don't know.

Oh, another thing that just sprang to mind is we liketo imagine their reaction if we told them about the things the parents did (especially if we imagine showing them a video of some of the things that happened! They would be disgusted and revolted and scornful. They would see the parents for the monsters that they are and they would know.

I am interested in hearing how other people deal with this.