Thanks for all your replies! We've been married roughly for two years, the first year was awesome (he had a job and was really responsible and never called me names or anything) but everything started when he started to work from home which is about a year ago now. We don't have any kids at this point.
Every time we have an argument that escalates into name calling etc, we talk about it after. I tell him that it's unacceptable to act like this and we talk about things we/he should do to make the marriage work. And he usually really tries for a couple days but then it goes back to usual and this has been repeating at least every other week. I get set off pretty easily though, when I had a frustrating day at work or something and I come home and find out he hasn't done anything.
We don't fight like this all the time so that's why I don't want to give up on the relationship. He can be very loving and really show me how much he loves me etc. It feels like he gets into this rage of madness only when I catch him doing something and he can't talk his way out of it. Then the name calling starts. And he even told me he does it because he's mad and doesn't know what to say. We talked about it a lot yesterday and he seemed to understand all the issues we have and he seemed to want to work on it.
His family thinks he should start working or finish his degree like it was planned when we got married but he gets upset every time somebody tries to tell him about it.