How many of us have had people in our lives that just can't stand to let us feel good about ourselves, for anything at all?

I was reminded today of something that happened in my first marriage. My then mother-in-law was a member of a weight loss support group. She came home from a meeting happy because at her weigh-in she had shown a small loss from the previous week. (I'll avoid giving exact numbers, just to be safe, because exact numbers are against the rules over at the eating disorders forum.) So she feels good about it. Enter my now ex-husband. "Is that all you lost? That's nothing. I can poop and lose that much."

The loss she showed, had she repeated it the next week, and then again thereafter, would have actually been quite a rapid rate. The important thing is, she was going in the right direction. She was making healthy choices. She had done well.

And I think my ex knew this. I think he saw his mother having a happy moment, and wanted to be a little turd and ruin it for her. Poking pins in people's balloons was the kind of thing he lived for. You can bet he eventually started treating me the same way.

I've often wondered what's happening inside people who don't want to see others happy. What are your thoughts?

I label it abuse because it has a devastating effect on its targets. In my ex-MIL's case, I think she even stopped going to those meetings.