I went onto a depression chat and the things that I say were too inspirational for me to really believe. But someone said she wished she could think like me. That isn't like me. Usually I'm too down on myself and think that I am a problem in society and for people in general. Like I'm completely flawed. I know I'm a loser but I'm doing my best to not be one in the future.

But I'm thinking clearly now. I have things that I need to work on but I wouldn't consider it as depression but more a spiritual type of depression. Depression is still needed for me to grow. It's an evolutionary process in order to get the mind through struggle in environment. It is still a chemical imbalance. But it's not like taking someone with depression and isolating them without relationship problems and life problems is going to prove a chemical imbalance because they'll still be depressed without those things.. It's a paradox. The pharmaceutical companies use one side to their advantage.

I still don't take what I'm saying seriously because people have different opinions and they could be better, not right. There's different types of "right" too so..

Things I was saying were like.. "It seems like a girlfriend or boyfriend is a huuuuge reason why a lot of people here are depressed" and to try being independent from a "lover" for a bit and then they'll see the true reasons of depression. Money, school, family, contemplating life's existence, work, spiritual transformation of the human mind, natures devastation, the world economy, cruelty, sociopaths, war, hate, people with low IQ, getting out of bed when you want to die, the future and the past..

I used to think of my life being wasted but now I have the mindset that it's never too late. You can still be 50 and finally find your passion for something in life and work on it. It's just the illusion of free will..