PI'm sorry your friend seemed to forget such an important thing. What you need to remember is that she likely didn't forget it because she didn't think it was significant or doesn't care. She just forgot. That's it. I only defend her because I forget a hell of a lot of important things. I have almost forgotten my husband's birthday on a few occasions. I have forgotten my siblings and my dad's birthdays until days after. I even once forgot my own birthday until my husband presented presents to me. I have no clue in what months or years three of my grandparents died in. I only remember when my paternal grandmother died because she died on my 30th birthday. I tend to be a very distractable person who hyperfocuses on certain things at the detriment of others. The does get me in trouble A LOT!!!! I try to work hard at improving this, but I obviously have not totally improved.

Perhaps the second time reminding your friend about certain things will be the most effective time.

If you asked me how many years ago my mom died, I'd not be 100% sure. I'd have to look it up to be 100% sure. 14 or 15 or 16 years ago? I think I remember the date she died. September 7th? Remembering such horrible "anniversaries" is not a high priority for me and September 7th usually passes without me remembering it. I do feel bad if her birthday passes without me remembering, but that doesn't mean I don't think about my mom every day and love her intensely. I think about my nephew every day, too. He died by suicide in June 2017. I forget the exact date. I often write about my "nephews" in the present tense, even though only my eldest nephew is living. I also refer to my childhood home as "my parents' house", even though only my dad lives there. I just hate the feeling of excluding them.

I, obviously, have some negative aspects, like above. But I also have some very positive ones. For example, I am not a grudge holder. Not at all!