Hi PC,

I have this friend that I met during college that has taken residence in my mind a little too long, and am hoping to evict this person from my thoughts as well as diminishing the control of triggers that are associated with her.

This lady was one I met at the very beginning of my almost 6 years in college, and we struck up a friendship right off because of a project we did together. I thought she was an absolute knock-out both in looks and personality, so I took her out on a couple of lunch dates and gave her a souvenir from a trip I made to Cancun. But then after awhile, I sensed that I needed to give her space since she had a very active life in sororities. As time passed however, when I decided to ask her out again in hopes of possibly turning her into a girlfriend, I humiliated myself when I discovered she already had a boyfriend.

We have still been good friends, as we’ve been involved in social organizations together at my college, and we’ve kept in touch after she moved away while I stayed behind for grad school. But I tell you what PC, I am in ruins after that one slip-up with her. Even after this blunder that has happened a while back, I am spiraling. And I am losing even more control of my thought patterns after seeing a pic on Insta of this aforementioned friend bragging on her same boyfriend she has been involved with for 3 years now.

Since then everything that could possibly go wrong with women has gone wrong. I either have two options now: I attract someone who I do not feel a mutual attraction to, or I am told that I am better off as a “friend”, but in the social environments I have experienced in college, this often means that they are through with me, either romantically or platonically. After a couple of awkward moments involving the opposite gender, I think trying to fend for myself on a deserted island would be much more pleasant than even as looking at or talking to any woman ever again. Unless you are popular, have perfect social skills, are super extroverted/social, move super fast in relationships, and have all of the right “pickup” lines, good luck with dating. I ain’t worth two ****s around women and feel like I have lost my last chance now by letting this lady pass me by.

I have already started seeing counseling, take meds for OCD/anxiety disorders and limit my social media use, which has been notorious for jacking up my self-esteem. But what should I do PC? How can I rid myself of the last of my romantic feelings I’ve previously felt toward this person? Will this emotional spiral end?