I’ve seen a therapist and a bereavement counselor, both of which I didn’t find too helpful only because when it comes to death many people turn to faith... and I’m not religious.... so basically they cut out the religion and They end up telling me things I already know:/... like the basic “ it’s not your fault”, “ turn to close friends” “he would want you to move on” “ distract your mind by doing things you love” etc.... all of which I get but... idk.. loss is pain that just sticks ya know? Like.... you can’t ignore a major experience in your life.. experiences are what shape you as a person, it’s just that HOW it shaped me is what comes off as “ clingy”.... you know what I mean? Like anyone can say “ well just keep reminding yourself that your current loved ones are okay” or maybe “ stay in touch and see them often” but my whole thing is like... paranoia and concern... i guess similar to when parents have their first child. Dont let people touch the new baby, don’t let them get dirty, Dont let them eat that, don’t do this dont do that. In the parents mind they’re protecting their child from the “what ifs” in their mind but to the child as they grow up they think “ my parents are helicopters, theyre over protective, they’re nosey, too strict etc etc”...... Idk how to break that “what if” thought process for myself:/.... it’s almost like I’m loving my current bf right out of my life....