Thank you so much. And ive seen that therapist on and off for about 10 yrs.. as a child I was sent to her because my family was convinced i had anger issues... my parents divorced and were toxic.. always pinning eachother against me.. using me as a pawn.. but ME, I was the one who got sent to therapy...... however I only turned to her again at this event because i felt more comfortable telling someone who “ knew me” vs a total stranger. We emailed on and off before that so she was a bit up to date. And yeah idk... i def just feel like i am clingy... I’ve talked to him and he understands so that why it never causes an argument or anything like that, but at the same time i dont doubt that it bothers him.... right now hes away with work and it’s driving me insane...... It’s the thought process of “ if I would’ve did this differently or acted a second sooner.. he may still be here”.... i dont blame myself yet at the same time i do although i know i have no business feeling that way when i did what i could... i know there are things that are just out of your control and I have to continuously remind myself of that.. so i guess that’s where the clingy parts come in..” if i spend a lot of time with you now..then maybe it wont hurt so bad if you leave me....”