Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets
I think though when you agree to marry and agree to be monogamous that its a sacred promise. Sexless marriages happen but then if a partner cant deal with that, they should make an exit. Just like if someone's spouse had cancer and was physically unable to engage in sex- it doesnt mean its ok for the other partner to look for it somewhere else. The act of infidelity lies squarely on the cheaters' back. it doesnt matter that the marriage was sexless, bad, good, whatever. Cheating is still a choice and that choice should not have been made if both partners agreed to monogamy. I am not saying you cant forgive someone who cheated. That is entirely up to the couple involved. I love my husband so very much and would be devastated if he cheated. I'd like to say I would kick him to the curb but how can you turn off love?
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I understand you SarahSweets
It is a choice of course. I was addressing the nuances. If you re-read my post, you'll note that i didn't say infidelity was "okay" or recommended.
A couple of good friends of mine in the past have been the "cheater" and I think if you knew them and knew their stories you'd find empathy for them. They seemed to me to be in just as much pain as their partners but I was the only one they could talk to in our social circle because they were immediately excluded and branded by everyone else as "bad" or "less than" which didn't help anyone.
I always try hard to look at both sides in life. I don't moralize...the morality of cheating or how we treat "cheaters" would be a separate thread. I was just exploring the varying realities of human attachment and the complexity of partnering with another human for the long haul. I've experienced infidelity and it hurt a great deal. But honestly, the worst hurts I've experienced from others had nothing to do with sex or infidelity. I feel that's worth mentioning.
Peace to all
