My all body aches from stress. Confusion, confusion, confusion is the main word in my head. I am trying to figure out the world and go foward without thinking twice, but it is so exhausting.
I right now have a inner voice telling me how awfull I am and how not good enough I am, it is not really a voice, it is more a deeply engrained feeling. I am trying to not listen to it, but it consumes all my strenghts. Yes I am selfish and lazy, yes I have intimacy issues, yes I always find ways to tell my self I am deeply faulty, yes my small talk is so crappy. I don't study how much as I should, I can't concentrate and that interferes with my work... I always expect people to not like me or accept me and that's brcause I don't accept myself. I know that, but is so hard to change.
I should be proud of me trying (while at the same time avoiding a lot of things), and I try to be strong, but my body hurts, and I realized I want to cry.
It is ok baby mulan, you are doing great, you can do it, you are allowed to cry, just remember your amazing.