I had a pretty good day in terms of my eating disorder. I realize I have to eat. I feel upset somewhat though when I think I'm not good enough if I'm not a certain size. I feel like eating is giving up some of that "control"

I drank way too much coffee today and have been struggling with voices so I'm trying to relax. I need to cut back on the caffeine seriously. I've already felt strange and disconnected today and that's not helping. I did drink water though, more than usual so that's good.