The more thinking I am doing about stuff, and today was a very easy T session , we talked about relaxed breathing and how to do it.

But there is something on my mind, something that happened when I was 18 and still living at home until college.

My parents had these friends that would get together to play cards and of course us kids (being in 6th grade at the time) would go along. Well I had a crush on this guy for a little bit. But eventually me and his son (15) would be making out downstairs in the basement. (my first time doing something other than kissing) One time when I came over, I went to the TV room in the basement and he was in the bathroom and he opened the door and it was dark inside. I now know he wanted to go down on him (now I know) but at the time I didn't know even what that was, I was very naive, I just left the room confused. He later stopped seeing me.
Well several year later his father, friends of my parents, came by very drunk to our house. He had to know my parents would be gone because they would be downtown at the business they owned. He wanted me to drive me around the corner (a couple of miles) to this lake resort, because he said he was so drunk he would get lost. Well I wasn't sure why he wanted to go there, it was a seasonal place, and it was early winter and nobody would be there. Well the way he was looking at me, it gave me the creeps. My brother was at home, thank god. I went to my room and locked the door while my brother talked with him, and he finally left. But I was so scared, shaking, worried he would come back. I knew he was no good and I was scared, he was a big guy, an ex Vietnam vet and stuff.

I remember my dad asking me what "Tom" wanted, and I told him I never wanted to see him again, ever. Then my dad asked what happened and my dad luckily believed me and they never hung out again.

But why does it still bother me, still remains burned into my memory. I feel like I need to talk about this with my new T, there is a pattern of older guys liking me including my formal T, and it makes me sick. I don't feel so well right now.